Most couples experience predictable problems at different stages of each individual’s life and stages of the relationship. Couples where one or both partners experience invisible chronic illness/disability experience the same problems, only more so and in additional ways.
Each year, for ten years now, we’re forced to remember our nation’s biggest single tragedy in an event that also affected the whole world. The long roster of victims. The harrowing piles of rubble. The families bereft of loved ones. Now, at the 10-year mark, we’re invited to feel horrified and helpless all over again. Enough, already. There is no American alive today who is unaware of what happened […]
Hawkeye the dog lays beside the casket of his friend, Navy SEAL Jon Tumlison. Tumlison was killed last year in Afghanistan when the Chinook helicopter he was riding in was shot down by the Taliban. Like all who served and died for our country, Tumlison died a hero. He also died a wealthy man.For to have a companion like that says more about the riches of love and loyalty than […]
One would think wedding vows are unambiguous. Straightforward. No subtext, no exceptions. Love is love. Right? “Not so,” say some men. “If you get really sick or disabled, I’m outta here.” A study published in the journal Cancer reported that, of the 515 married patients with serious cancer or multiple sclerosis followed over 5 years, the divorce rate was about the same as among the general population, 11.6%. The difference […]
Riding my 3-wheeler on a Sunday morning bike ride with David, we pedaled a mile to get donuts (a reward for exercising). We pass by a huge grassy field on our route and paused to watch a man throwing a ball to his dog. A golden retriever, she looked to be a mature animal, but what do I know about dogs…Anyway, that dog wagged and ran and fetched and laid on the cool grass […]
I love getting mail, the real kind you don’t have to print out. The kind you have to get out of your chair for. So I was excited to see my friend’s return address in the pile, and it wasn’t just because the envelope didn’t hold a bill. I’ve always known her to be calm to my frantic, brave to my wimpiness, determined with a self-assuredness I still envy. Just to give […]
I used to think that if something didn’t turn out right (cake batter or laundering a stained blouse, say) the way to apply a fix was to add something. More flour to the batter. An applique over the stain. I’d like to say those solutions worked, but we both know better. So why do we seek to add a BIG COMPLICATION to an already-complicated situation? I’m not talking returning a […]
I hate to sound harsh, but I’m gonna sound harsh. Uncaring, unfeeling, cold. I don’t mean to, but that’s how it will sound. So if you like me, you might want to stop here; you might not like me after what I say. In truth, you may have thought it yourself. If you live in a trailer in Tornado Alley expect to be a statistic. Knowing better does not include […]
I know I vowed not to obsess anymore about Hugh Hefner and his marriage to what’s-her-name. (Think I could change “what’s-her-name” to “fill in the blank”? Maybe “whatever”? Yeah, “whatever”. Her name will never matter like his will.) I’m not speaking out of jealousy because I’m old(er) and have ms. Really. It doesn’t bother me that she’s got a great bod. I don’t care that she’ll have a mansion to live in. Or […]
I’ve heard it said, “You don’t have (fill in the blank) so how can you understand?” It’s as if the problems, or even the pleasures, we have can be had by no one else, evvverrr in the history of mankind. That kind of magical thinking is why we can’t imagine our parents having had sex. While that image isn’t one we want to conjure, trust me on this, they did […]
This is another “without fail” story. And if you’re a woman who speaks that binary computer mumbo dot jumbo, spare me. Go fix a good pot roast or something; then we’ll talk. I am not a stupid woman. Even though I have trouble with the times table for seven, I am not diminished; I’ve never had to use it in real life, anyway. Hear me roar. “He” (David) would say […]
ilikebeingsickanddisabled 