ilikebeingsickanddisabled

t h e w o r l d o f i n v i s i b l e i l l n e s s

OLD LOVE LETTERS FROM YOUR PAST: GOOD FOR YOUR MARRIAGE.

I’d forgotten all about them, so when my husband plunked down dusty, dirty old boxes for me to go through, I inwardly groaned at more work.  What I found caused me to turn off the TV, plop down on the floor, and get teary. Some things are personal.  It’s okay, healthy even, to keep private some things, especially from your partner.  You disrespect all three of you by telling all, […]

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THE BUSINESS OF A TOGETHER BUSINESS

Coming on the exhausted heels of Black Friday, Saturday the 30th is Small Business Saturday®. As most men will agree, the only thing more bracing than Black Friday shopping is more shopping. This isn’t big-name, big-box stuff.   Small Business Saturday® encourages consumers to SHOP SMALL®.   American Express developed the program as a way to help small businesses market themselves.  While the financial giant’s small biz bolstering is less than […]

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SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!

SAVE ME FROM MYSELF! Twenty seven years ago, when David and I first married, among the things I heard him say was that he wanted “an independent woman” as a wife. To someone like me, who has m.s. and who learned in childhood that playing “the victim” was the way to being loved, that description of “independent” was scary. Not because of working, because I always have, but from the standpoint of not […]

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THE UP SIDE OF AWFUL

How can I do what I do?  Especially when I awfulize. I know now how to help someone out of quicksand, but that wasn’t until much later, after the little girl died. Friends’ two-year-old daughter and her little brother were in mom’s car when it was t-boned on an icy road.  The little boy had cuts and bruises but the little girl was paralyzed from the neck down.  She couldn’t […]

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WOMEN’S LIB IS A LIE

Speaking from a disabled woman’s point of view, living the “lib lie” in relationship simply doesn’t work. The “lib lie” I’m talking about is putting career before relationship, being damned if I’ll make cacciatore, or being complimented for how I look. Where was my head all these years.  I’ll tell you where: in the conference room, the kitchen, and in front of the mirror. Truth be told, I like making […]

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CHOOSING TO BE DISABLED.

Even if the claims that candy causes behavioral problems are anecdotal, one thing is for sure: An American diet full of sugar is a significant cause of childhood obesity. But it tastes so darned good. The Centers for Disease Control report that 1 in 6 children between the ages of 2 and 19 is obese. Aside from the psychosocial aspects of being bullied or having no date for the 8th grade […]

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A PRETTY BIG BUTT

Doing work you’re passionate about has been the imperative for years now. This, despite the contined high unemployment rate, a rate that doesn’t even reflect people who gave up trying to find work years ago. Ironically, they’re called the “invisible unemployed” and there’s about 86 million of them.  Like the “invisibly disabled”, both are a large part of our society where the “invisible” part suggests monkeys with hands over their […]

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INVISIBLY DISABLED OR NOT, 5 GOOD REASONS TO REVAMP YOUR LIFE

If you’re like most of us, change is uncomfortable.  That applies whether we’ve asked for the change, or not.  Change can be as small as changing your haircolor or as big a deal as moving across town or across country. Some adults mimic Peter Pan’s Lost Boys, adamantly insisting they won’t grow up. If that’s you or someone you care about, check out five good reasons it’s a good idea […]

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MAKING INCONTINENCE FASHIONABLE

The fashion industry has joined forces with manufacturers of personal care products to produce incontinence wear for women in designer colors, including soft peach and light blue. Industry has heeded the call of millions of women who want to feel feminine, even when having a pants-full. The newer color palette does that and at the same time takes away the shame and embarrassment of elimination accidents. Women feel confident again. […]

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ROOT FOR SOMEONE FAMOUS TO BECOME DISABLED THIS MONTH

I was just reading the Screen Actors Guild’s 2005 study of how few representations of people with disabilities were scripted into tv shows — less than .5% even had speaking roles. Five years later, the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) noted essentially the same thing. Using media to capture Americans’ attention (film, video, print, cyber) is well-suited to our short attention span and overall sense of unreality about […]

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