First published on Disability.gov For 70 years she put up with his (sometimes volcanic) rumblings. He doted on her with diamonds, and was a poorer father for it. The youngest of 5 much older siblings, she was babied into being passive and timid. He was a blustering bad boy who loved control; a lifelong natural at most things mechanical. He took seriously his duties as a man, a spouse, […]
What’s a hand doing in deep space? And what’s it attached to? Is God just a big hand? Wait a minute. Is that a hand at all? The so-called “Hand of God” is the result of a combination of NASA’s Nuclear Spectroscopic Telescope Array, or NuStar, combined with Chandra X-ray Observatory’s imaging. God (and Superman) only knows what that pulsaristic, X-ray, and magnetic energy stuff’s about. That we humans jump […]
I keep a book in my office and if I had a coffee table, it would be on it. It’s red, with a coffee spill down the front that’s dried into a Rorschach-kind of thing. Nifty for it to be in a therapist’s office. Inside, dozens of clients have written their “should’s”. It’s not instructive to describe what they said; more than likely, their self-flagellations are the same as yours. […]
I’d forgotten all about them, so when my husband plunked down dusty, dirty old boxes for me to go through, I inwardly groaned at more work. What I found caused me to turn off the TV, plop down on the floor, and get teary. Some things are personal. It’s okay, healthy even, to keep private some things, especially from your partner. You disrespect all three of you by telling all, […]
Speaking from a disabled woman’s point of view, living the “lib lie” in relationship simply doesn’t work. The “lib lie” I’m talking about is putting career before relationship, being damned if I’ll make cacciatore, or being complimented for how I look. Where was my head all these years. I’ll tell you where: in the conference room, the kitchen, and in front of the mirror. Truth be told, I like making […]
If you’re like most of us, change is uncomfortable. That applies whether we’ve asked for the change, or not. Change can be as small as changing your haircolor or as big a deal as moving across town or across country. Some adults mimic Peter Pan’s Lost Boys, adamantly insisting they won’t grow up. If that’s you or someone you care about, check out five good reasons it’s a good idea […]
I’m a fine one to talk. “All change implies the acceptance of loss” is the line I berate my coaching and psychotherapy clients with. Loss of function with invisible disability carries with it more than just the loss of “being able to…” It’s how others’ attitudes might change. Or how communication in a relationship — married or not — is impacted. Recently emailing with a colleague, another permutation appeared: “All loss […]
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