My balance, isn’t. So when I head straight toward the bushes at the entrance to my building it isn’t surprising. Bushes are a trigger in picturing my first (and only) experience as a new MSer in an MS support group. Recommended by my neurologist, the group experience was meant to help me cope with the way-past-due-diagnosis of my disease. Instead, it freaked me out. Walkers, wheelchairs, canes, crutches – and me, invisibly […]
I keep a book in my office and if I had a coffee table, it would be on it. It’s red, with a coffee spill down the front that’s dried into a Rorschach-kind of thing. Nifty for it to be in a therapist’s office. Inside, dozens of clients have written their “should’s”. It’s not instructive to describe what they said; more than likely, their self-flagellations are the same as yours. […]
Speaking from a disabled woman’s point of view, living the “lib lie” in relationship simply doesn’t work. The “lib lie” I’m talking about is putting career before relationship, being damned if I’ll make cacciatore, or being complimented for how I look. Where was my head all these years. I’ll tell you where: in the conference room, the kitchen, and in front of the mirror. Truth be told, I like making […]
Even if the claims that candy causes behavioral problems are anecdotal, one thing is for sure: An American diet full of sugar is a significant cause of childhood obesity. But it tastes so darned good. The Centers for Disease Control report that 1 in 6 children between the ages of 2 and 19 is obese. Aside from the psychosocial aspects of being bullied or having no date for the 8th grade […]
If you’re like most of us, change is uncomfortable. That applies whether we’ve asked for the change, or not. Change can be as small as changing your haircolor or as big a deal as moving across town or across country. Some adults mimic Peter Pan’s Lost Boys, adamantly insisting they won’t grow up. If that’s you or someone you care about, check out five good reasons it’s a good idea […]
I’m a fine one to talk. “All change implies the acceptance of loss” is the line I berate my coaching and psychotherapy clients with. Loss of function with invisible disability carries with it more than just the loss of “being able to…” It’s how others’ attitudes might change. Or how communication in a relationship — married or not — is impacted. Recently emailing with a colleague, another permutation appeared: “All loss […]
Married, in a relationship, or single, life is often ungovernable. Through disability, chronic illness, divorce, break-up, deaths big and small where do we find respite from difficulty? When can we stop being courageous? So many of us lean on love to give us relief from life’s chattering. If love were so one-dimensional, though, if all loving did was give us rest, would it still be lustrous? What is easy, quantifiable, […]
While apartheid has been legally abandoned in South Africa, it can still be a racially uneasy place. But some questions cut across racial lines: Is Oscar Pistorius guilty of murder? It was a made-for-television story starring Oscar Pistorius, a double amputee running on bladed “legs” in last summer’s Olympic Games, and his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, a beautiful model. Life in a luxurious gated community. Fame, wanted or not, right up […]
I don’t know when it became fashionable to identify pregnancy as an adventure à deux. It always seemed lopsided that pregnancy excluded men from throwing up, having swollen ankles and shrewish moods. I’m not even talking about all those forever changes like stretch marks, a bigger butt, and wider hips. With the possibility of gestational diabetes, postpartum depression, or miscarriage, the adventure becomes a challenge, albeit one that affects the […]
No, I’m not about to scare the neighbors by walking around without my clothes; Halloween’s come and gone.What I’m talking about is taking off the mask we all wear. Usually, our masks are good to have in place: Doesn’t make sense to “be naked” all the time. You’d feel everything and be exposed to everything feeling you. Nah, sometimes it’s good to keep private what’s private. Wearing a mask becomes […]
ilikebeingsickanddisabled 