“I can’t work with someone who’s broken,” he said calmly. The young man had just read my Disclosure, a description of rights that, as a Marriage & Family Therapist, I’m legally required to give all clients. Although it isn’t necessary, my Disclosure also relates that I have multiple sclerosis; I don’t want clients to wonder whether my stumbling is about a liquid lunch. Broken, he said. Broken. I never imagine […]
If you’re allergic to dogs, happiness is not a warm puppy. Metaphors about puppies, or anything else, are potentially dangerous. Even knowing where happiness — like any other emotion — occurs on the emotional spectrum doesn’t give the whole story. The only way to really know about someone else’s happiness is for you to ask and them to tell. Thinking in deep and different ways about happiness isn’t easy. Here […]
First published on Disability.gov For 70 years she put up with his (sometimes volcanic) rumblings. He doted on her with diamonds, and was a poorer father for it. The youngest of 5 much older siblings, she was babied into being passive and timid. He was a blustering bad boy who loved control; a lifelong natural at most things mechanical. He took seriously his duties as a man, a spouse, […]
For those of us who are disabled, invisibly so, preparing for weather that turns wintry follows a simple self-care rule: stay inside. As multiple sclerosis has progressed in me, simple tasks loom large. Accumulation of simple tasks makes negotiating my environment literally hazardous to my health. And I’m not alone in what can happen: Impaired mobility. “Give me something to hold onto, like a railing, or a walker,” I said […]
My balance, isn’t. So when I head straight toward the bushes at the entrance to my building it isn’t surprising. Bushes are a trigger in picturing my first (and only) experience as a new MSer in an MS support group. Recommended by my neurologist, the group experience was meant to help me cope with the way-past-due-diagnosis of my disease. Instead, it freaked me out. Walkers, wheelchairs, canes, crutches – and me, invisibly […]
I keep a book in my office and if I had a coffee table, it would be on it. It’s red, with a coffee spill down the front that’s dried into a Rorschach-kind of thing. Nifty for it to be in a therapist’s office. Inside, dozens of clients have written their “should’s”. It’s not instructive to describe what they said; more than likely, their self-flagellations are the same as yours. […]
Photograph of Rachel and her husband Chris on their wedding day. Photo credit: Martha Manning Photography I blog for the government’s disability website, Disability.gov If you haven’t visited, do so; it’s cool, comfy, and inspiring. At a recent look-see, I plopped into a story about Rachelle Friedman, written by the person who knows her best — herself. You might remember her story. Last year, at Rachelle’s bachelorette party, a friend’s playful gesture […]
I don’t know when it became fashionable to identify pregnancy as an adventure à deux. It always seemed lopsided that pregnancy excluded men from throwing up, having swollen ankles and shrewish moods. I’m not even talking about all those forever changes like stretch marks, a bigger butt, and wider hips. With the possibility of gestational diabetes, postpartum depression, or miscarriage, the adventure becomes a challenge, albeit one that affects the […]
ilikebeingsickanddisabled 