Junk. That’s the name I give to those reams of paper already printed on one side, fit only for recycling. The remains of old binders of stuff from grad school account for this week’s batch of junk paper for my printer. Like a paper I’d written almost 20 years ago: Assumptions, Approaches and Issues in Marital Therapy: A Personal Definition. Amazingly, what I believed then, minus the naïveté and lack […]
Doin’ the do-si-do’s impossible to do by yourself. I spent lots of years hanging out with girlfriends or not hanging out at all, which was more likely to be true. Most times, none of us even had someone who filled in for love. I’m not ashamed to say there are times I would’ve settled – my need for affiliation was that great – at least for awhile. Although I did […]
For those of us who are disabled, invisibly so, preparing for weather that turns wintry follows a simple self-care rule: stay inside. As multiple sclerosis has progressed in me, simple tasks loom large. Accumulation of simple tasks makes negotiating my environment literally hazardous to my health. And I’m not alone in what can happen: Impaired mobility. “Give me something to hold onto, like a railing, or a walker,” I said […]
My balance, isn’t. So when I head straight toward the bushes at the entrance to my building it isn’t surprising. Bushes are a trigger in picturing my first (and only) experience as a new MSer in an MS support group. Recommended by my neurologist, the group experience was meant to help me cope with the way-past-due-diagnosis of my disease. Instead, it freaked me out. Walkers, wheelchairs, canes, crutches – and me, invisibly […]
No brainer, right? But for many women, it’s not as stupid a question as you’d think. The 21st Century may see a socioeconomic shift in favor of women, e.g. more upper-level management positions, more business owners, greater control of wealth. Success comes at a price; working harder for longer hours upsets the already teetering balance among personal, relationship, and family demands. Another price? Women are just as likely to experience […]
“God bless us, every one.” I think Tiny Tim got really chilled waiting in line on Black Friday. And Cyber Monday. Come to think of it, somebody told me he was at the mall the other day, too. Amazing, since he hit the deck real hard when he lost a tug of war over some on-sale Levi’s. Gotta give him credit for gettin’ back on the horse. Poor guy. We […]
I keep a book in my office and if I had a coffee table, it would be on it. It’s red, with a coffee spill down the front that’s dried into a Rorschach-kind of thing. Nifty for it to be in a therapist’s office. Inside, dozens of clients have written their “should’s”. It’s not instructive to describe what they said; more than likely, their self-flagellations are the same as yours. […]
Photograph of Rachel and her husband Chris on their wedding day. Photo credit: Martha Manning Photography I blog for the government’s disability website, Disability.gov If you haven’t visited, do so; it’s cool, comfy, and inspiring. At a recent look-see, I plopped into a story about Rachelle Friedman, written by the person who knows her best — herself. You might remember her story. Last year, at Rachelle’s bachelorette party, a friend’s playful gesture […]
I don’t know when it became fashionable to identify pregnancy as an adventure à deux. It always seemed lopsided that pregnancy excluded men from throwing up, having swollen ankles and shrewish moods. I’m not even talking about all those forever changes like stretch marks, a bigger butt, and wider hips. With the possibility of gestational diabetes, postpartum depression, or miscarriage, the adventure becomes a challenge, albeit one that affects the […]
The following assertion was made by Maxine Cunningham, founder and director of Empowered Walking Enterprise/Ministries. My response follows. “Dignity is not a word that we often hear in connection with how we treat persons with a chronic mental illness – YES if you have cancer, ALS, multiple sclerosis, etc. Dignity and full personhood – that we might be whole.” As a therapist with multiple sclerosis, and a Board member of the Invisible Disabilities […]
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