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Health and wellness

WHY DISABILITY INCLUSION WON’T WORK

This post was first published the first week of August, 2014 by the federal government’s blog Disability.gov.  To date it has had over 1,500 hits. As a Marriage & Family Therapist with multiple sclerosis, I write for Disability.gov, my own blog, and others like it, getting the opportunity to be a source of strength for people and their families. That’s why I was surprised when one organization denied my professional […]

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WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT BEING HAPPY

  If you’re allergic to dogs, happiness is not a warm puppy. Metaphors about puppies, or anything else, are potentially dangerous.  Even knowing where happiness — like any other emotion — occurs on the emotional spectrum doesn’t give the whole story. The only way to really know about someone else’s happiness is for you to ask and them to tell. Thinking in deep and different ways about happiness isn’t easy.  Here […]

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WHEN A CAREGIVER DIES

    First published on Disability.gov For 70 years she put up with his (sometimes volcanic) rumblings.  He doted on her with diamonds, and was a poorer father for it. The youngest of 5 much older siblings, she was babied into being passive and timid.  He was a blustering bad boy who loved control; a lifelong natural at most things mechanical.  He took seriously his duties as a man, a spouse, […]

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7 TRUTHS ABOUT COUPLES THERAPY

Junk. That’s the name I give to those reams of paper already printed on one side, fit only for recycling.  The remains of old binders of stuff from grad school account for this week’s batch of junk paper for my printer. Like a paper I’d written almost 20 years ago:  Assumptions, Approaches and Issues in Marital Therapy:  A Personal Definition. Amazingly, what I believed then, minus the naïveté and lack […]

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IT TAKES TWO TO DO-SI-DO

Doin’ the do-si-do’s impossible to do by yourself.  I spent lots of years hanging out with girlfriends or not hanging out at all, which was more likely to be true. Most times, none of us even had someone who filled in for love. I’m not ashamed to say there are times I would’ve settled – my need for affiliation was that great – at least for awhile.  Although I did […]

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INVISIBLE DISABILITY GOT YOU SIDELINED THIS WINTER?

For those of us who are disabled, invisibly so, preparing for  weather that turns wintry follows a simple self-care rule:  stay inside. As multiple sclerosis has progressed in me, simple tasks loom large. Accumulation of simple tasks makes negotiating my environment literally hazardous to my health. And I’m not alone in what can happen: Impaired mobility.   “Give me something to hold onto, like a railing, or a walker,” I said […]

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THAT GIRL KEEPS FALLING ON HER BUTT

My balance, isn’t. So when I head straight toward the bushes at the entrance to my building it isn’t surprising. Bushes are a trigger in picturing my first (and only) experience as a new MSer in an MS support group.   Recommended by my neurologist, the group experience was meant to help me cope with the way-past-due-diagnosis of my disease. Instead, it freaked me out. Walkers, wheelchairs, canes, crutches – and me, invisibly […]

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