You can make your relationship better! The writer of this post is 18 years old and already gets it. But does The Boyfriend?
This is what I find doing therapy with couples — neither gets what the other is saying. The misunderstanding, frustration, and hurt are one of the reasons arguments — fights — happen.
As always, start becoming aware of what’s going through your head. Lots of us fight about everything else but what’s really got us hurt/angry/acting out.
Next step is to do something with your awareness. In this case you can start making apology stick by choosing how best to apologize.
Uh, uh, not what floats your boat, but what floats your partner’s. Find help discovering what that is by reading Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages. It will help a lot.
Find Kathe Skinner in Colorado Springs where she specializes working with the many parts of couples. With husband David, Kathe also teaches a Secular Couple Communication Workshop. Find out more!
I wrote a post yesterday about the frustration when my boyfriend does not apologise, and how it makes me feel, and despite believing I’d never get an apology…I got one before the end of the day.
However, it didn’t solve anything for me. Feelings of hurt didn’t magically disappear, nor did the frustration. Yet, if I say ‘your apology means nothing’, he may be put off from apologising (if needed) again, so where does that leave me?
With the conclusion that he has to make it up to me.
I’m not an expensive girl, and I’m easily made happy by the simplest of things. Give me your hoodie that has your scent all over it? I’m beaming from ear to ear. Buy me a KFC, or a doughnut? Let me kiss the daylights out of you. I’m very, easily, satisfied like that.
But what do I want? I’m not materialistic…
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